Individually Therapy Berlin
Fortschritt
Seit Tagen
stand ich
mir selber im Weg.
"Lass mich durch!"
schrie ich mich an!
Ich schwieg.
Als ich sah,
dass ich an mir
nicht vorbeikam,
schlug ich mich
mit mir.
Ich siegte.
Ich verlor.
Schließlich nahm ich
mich selber
an die Hand,
und wir gingen
den ersten Schritt.
-Jochen Mariss-
Our thinking has a strong influence on how we feel and behave and how we react physically.
How we perceive, evaluate and deal with things is often related to what we have learned in the past, especially in our childhood. These behaviors can later lead to problems in life. What used to be a good way of dealing with a problem is often no longer helpful then.
Often we encounter situations in life that we find too great and insurmountable in the present moment. This can throw our mental balance off track. Both external and internal causes can give those affected the feeling of acute overstrain.
Experiencing a sense of helplessness and hopelessness also affects everyday life. The individual capacity decreases, the emotional pressure increases, which often ends in a downward spiral. Well-intentioned tips and advice from the environment, usually do not help any further, and the feeling of incomprehension and loneliness becomes stronger.
Psychological counseling can help interrupt the negative cycle and help people to look more distantly and abstractly at the initial problems and conflicts.
The focus of this consultation is a psychological conversation, which helps with individual and adapted forms of intervention to clarify and solve conflicts and problems.
In a single therapy, solutions can be found if you suffer from situations such as:
Typical topics in relationships:
Constant fear of being able to leave at any time, or have already had the experience several times to have been left out of nowhere.
The relationship has changed a lot through a child
In certain situations, sudden, violent anger against the partner, which you can classify in his violence itself bad and leads to conflicts. They think, for example: "It keeps happening to me, it annoys me that it happens, and yet it happens again and again, I can not control it, and later I'm sorry or ashamed of it."
-
The feeling of not being taken seriously, ultimately standing alone, not being seen.
-
The feeling of being constantly criticized and not being ok or loveable as a partner.
-
The feeling that the partner repeatedly violates your limits or determines you in many areas.
-
The feeling of heartbroken inside or outside the relationship
-
Repeated situations in which you feel guilt or shame.
-
To suffer from the feeling of being unable or no longer able to trust in essential areas.
-
Excessive jealousy
-
Internal conflicts concerning one's sexuality, loyalty, etc.
-
Decision difficulty between two possible partners
Typical topics from professional life:
-
Despite external successes to experience a familiar basic feeling of diffuse dissatisfaction.
-
The feeling of being unable to meet the expectations of superiors or their own expectations.
-
Difficulties have to say no.
-
Conflicts can endure bad, therefore avoid them and thus protect their borders bad.
-
Be bullied or otherwise mistreated.
-
Difficulty in deciding whether to change jobs.
Attachment and loss fears
The share of singles is 49% in Berlin (2018). Of these, not all singles are voluntary without a partner. Many of them suffer from the fear of a close relationship and emotional closeness. Many also indirectly or directly sabotage their relationships.
Bonding fears can result from various things throughout life. It may be that you have had bad experiences in previous relationships, or have not learned in your childhood how a secure connection between two people can work.
These experiences contribute to new relationships, and if you do not get involved in a relationship, you do not have to feel the fears that come with it.
The longer one lives with these behavioral and emotional patterns, the harder it is to get out of these patterns. It is, therefore, an essential step in finding out from an individual or couple therapy where your anxiety is in a relationship and what makes it difficult for you to feel secure in a relationship.
The next step is to use behavioral therapy to learn what you can do to alleviate those fears.
How to recognize attachment anxiety:
-
You often change your partner
-
You are looking for the perfect partner
-
You have fallen in love with a married partner once / several times
-
Despite the desire for a committed relationship, yours are always short lived
-
They are afraid of having to give themselves up in a committed relationship
-
It's hard for you to trust your feelings and fears with your partner
-
Partners who are seriously interested in you are often too boring
-
They are afraid to lead the same kind of relationship as their parents
-
You are already thinking about the next relationship in your current life
-
A stable relationship means commitment and pressure to you
-
You can be dismissive and cold to your partner
But not only bondage fears can sabotage a healthy relationship, even if one of the two partners suffers from loss anxiety, but that is also a high pressure on the relationship.
Not enough freedom in the relationship, constriction by the partner can lead to a heavy burden in the relationship.
Partners who show anxious attachment behavior often experience severe loss anxiety within their relationships. This can manifest itself not only in relationships but also in friendships and the fear of loss for the family or the job.
The feeling of fear is human, and in some areas of our lives, it also ensures our survival. Also, being afraid of losing someone we love shows only how important the other person is to us.
However, fears that go beyond "normal" anxiety are detrimental to health and severely limited, especially within a relationship.
As with attachment anxiety, the fear of loss from trauma can have come from previous relationships. Any traumatic experience from childhood (loss experiences from childhood) or previous relationships, can have a strong influence on personality development.
People who have undergone such or other traumas can only be bad at dealing with themselves and strongly align their thoughts and lives. As a result, they often cling strongly to relationships, experiencing ups and downs of fears.
People who suffer from a severe fear of loss also often find themselves in unhealthy relationships, as they do not stop them to avoid the damage.
Your pattern of behavior shows up as soon as you feel that your partner distances himself and addresses the lack of space and tries to demand.
As part of the individual or couple therapy, the reasons are discussed and then jointly developed behavioral strategies, so that it is not just the relationship and the partner is fine, but the person affected.